Family Issues
T
he family is such an intergral part of life and the place where we learn our first lessons and how to interact with others. Shri Babaji encouraged householders to take care of their duties, to love and care for their children, and to keep up their spiritual practice. Babaji loves children and is often pictured with children in His lap. Shri Muniraji is a wonderful example of a loving family man with eight children and now many grandchildren and great grandchildren, who continually takes care of all his duties as well as his daily spiritual practices.
Life in these busy times often becomes challenging for families. We seem to be almost too busy to stop and enjoy the simple joys of living and being together as family. For this reason, we are including this section about families. The first entries are parenting questions and answers that have appeared in the local newpaper for the last year or so. We will also include other helpful ideas for families, so stay tuned.
If you have a question or a topic that you would like covered, just email us at info@Babajiashram.org.
We are here to serve. Bhole Baba Ki Jai!
Parent Talk by Ramloti - March, 2009 |
Having a two-year-old can be a challenging time for parents OR it can be an incredibly wonderful time. Here are some hints.
1. Set clear boundaries and follow through with them. When a limit is set and the child is pushing it (i.e., bedtime), stay kind but firm by using these 3 steps:
a. Acknowledge what you are hearing! For example: “I know you don’t want to go to bed!”
b. Remind them of the agreement or rule! For example: “… and it is bedtime now.”
c. For children under 4, give them a choice! For example: “So we can either hop to bed or jump to bed.”
Then be ready to stick to the limit regardless of how tired or busy you are! Studies show that kids over age three that frequently push hard at limits have been taught that if they push long and hard enough, there is a pretty good chance of the parent giving in. Don’t make everything a limit but when you do make a limit, it is best to stick with it.
2. Ask for the behavior you want as opposed to what you don’t want. Instead of saying “Don’t run” or “Don’t wake up the baby,” you might say “Use your walking legs,” or “Use your inside voice.”
3. Give Choices.
This developmental age group is in a power surge so it is best to give them choices whenever possible. Here are some different types of
choices:
- Concrete Choices: ”You want to have the green cup or blue cup?”
- Playful Choices: “Do you want to skip to the bath or crawl to the bath?”
- Choices with incentives: “If we go to bed now we will have time to read three books, if you want to finish the video we will have time for one book?”
- Choices with consequences. “If you choose to run away from me at the park the consequence will be we will leave the park!"
Reminder: Do not give a choice you will not be happy with or be willing to follow though with!
4. Never ask a question you are not willing to accept “No” as an answer. Instead of asking “Do you want to take a bath?” you might say, “It is bath time, do you want to put the bubbles in or should I?”
5. Allow yourself plenty of time! A child under age five is so gifted with mindfulness. Each step is so mindful that it can drive us crazy because they put so much thought into doing simple things that it can take them 20 minutes to get to the car!
6. They begin to understand the concept of sharing at age three.
Try using the phrase “taking turns” instead of “sharing” because they understand that concept better. You can help them to understand that taking turns can be fun by giving a treat and having them take turns eating it.
7. They like sameness so try your best to establish routines around potential struggles such as bath times, bedtimes, eating and dressing.
The book and workbook can be found at the Maha Lakshmi shop.
Last changed: Jan 03 2010 at 6:11 PM
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