Family Issues
T
he family is such an intergral part of life and the place where we learn our first lessons and how to interact with others. Shri Babaji encouraged householders to take care of their duties, to love and care for their children, and to keep up their spiritual practice. Babaji loves children and is often pictured with children in His lap. Shri Muniraji is a wonderful example of a loving family man with eight children and now many grandchildren and great grandchildren, who continually takes care of all his duties as well as his daily spiritual practices.
Life in these busy times often becomes challenging for families. We seem to be almost too busy to stop and enjoy the simple joys of living and being together as family. For this reason, we are including this section about families. The first entries are parenting questions and answers that have appeared in the local newpaper for the last year or so. We will also include other helpful ideas for families, so stay tuned.
If you have a question or a topic that you would like covered, just email us at info@Babajiashram.org.
We are here to serve. Bhole Baba Ki Jai!
Parent Talk by Ramloti - January, 2008 |
Let’s talk about taking too much responsibility for getting our kids out the door on time for a party or for school. I hear so many parents yelling repeatedly (or nagging over and over again in a polite but exasperated voice). Assuming our children want to go to the party or want to do well in school it is better to put most of the responsibility in their hands. As young as two-years-old and clear up to when they leave for a job or college, this is a peace saver in the home.
For the young one, together decide on some clothes to wear to the party and remind them that you need to leave by twelve to arrive on time, which is about 30 minutes or so. Point to where that is on the clock and leave the room. If the child gets distracted and forgets, you could remind him or her once but after that, let the consequence do the teaching, obviously not going to the party.
For the older one who wants to do well in school, get him or her an alarm clock. Help the child decide how much time he or she needs to complete morning necessities. Talk about what consequences the school has in place for tardy arrivals. Tell the child you will get in the car when he or she is ready. If you see the child is late, do not say anything just drop him or her off at school. Let the school do the talking, a tardy slip or detention.
Here is a great story from my sister’s book that I am editing for her. I will let you know when it is available.
Story: The Barking Mother
One morning instead of barking out orders I said to my daughter, “let’s have some fun today.” You know what you need to do to get ready on time. When it’s time to leave I’ll meet you in the car. In the meantime, she’s playing with the dog and I’m bursting at the seams but don’t say anything, and she got herself out the door on time, even though she was playing with everything. It was a big lesson for me. She knows what she needs to do and it may not be perfect, but I didn’t have to say one word to her.
She’s doing really well since I quit barking at her. She’s 10 and I really have seen a shift since I stopped barking out a thousand orders a day. Instead I ask, what do you need to do today? I can ask what are your chores today? And she writes them down and checks them off. Before when I only barked orders at her, it only brought resistance from her, so it’s a big change for us.
Last changed: Jan 03 2010 at 6:11 PM
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